Thank goodness it’s Saturday. I wore my dress back to front all day at work yesterday. I think it was the gods’ way of telling me that I was done with this week.
I came home to find a grumpy Mr V. Apparently whenever he’s at home the place is full of children lounging around. “Do they have nothing better to do?!” he cried, sounding like a real parent of teenagers. Then he gave them chores and told them to focus on the positives. This left me somewhat discombobulated. Faking being proper parents is something that has taken us years to perfect. We are the masters of muddling through. And now the traitor was actually sounding like the real deal!
If he kept this up we would have to stop bribing our kids to eat vegetables and coercing them into pretending to be polite and decent members of society whenever we have visitors. We would have to lay down the law and start saying parenty things like “if someone asked you to jump off a cliff…” Instead of a quiet life where I just close the door on the mess, I could see years of yelling at people to tidy their bedrooms stretching before me. Surely our kids were turning out alright despite our best efforts?
I had to nip this in the bud before it got out of hand and we all found ourselves, with not a trace of irony, posing in matching jumpers for next year’s Christmas cards. I was prepared to take extreme measures but in the end I didn’t have to do anything. Cherub 1 would only let cherub 2 have the broken slice of cake. Cherub 2 was absolutely not having this disgusting piece of patisserie with its filthy break in the middle that tasted exactly the same as the unbroken slice. Cherub 2 suggested cutting the unbroken slice in half and sharing it. Cherub 1 objected on the grounds that this would be breaking the unbroken slice.
Within minutes world war 3 had broken out and Mr V was storming into the living room saying “I can’t deal with it. You deal with it.” Thus normal service was resumed. We both hid in the living room, turned up the volume on the telly to drown out the teenage swearing and agreed that surely some sibling rivalry was character building.
Cake is just so good on so many levels 😀