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Testing Testing Empty Nesting

This weekend was spent luxuriating in being one teenager down. Like a dry run for when they both eventually bugger off…er…I mean break our hearts by flying the nest. Yes we were worried that cherub 2 would be okay in Amsterdam but an even bigger yes to enjoying the lack of dirty underpants on the bathroom floor.

Doing a grocery shop was a weird experience. I kept gravitating towards things like sausages and realising that I didn’t need them. I thought to myself that pretty soon I will probably be doing this for real, not just for a week. Cherub 2 has brainwashed me. How will I ever again manage not to buy 1000 pots of chocolate mousse every week?!

I haven’t had to endure a single episode of South Park while I wait for him to get bored and leave me with the telly.

There have been no anguished texts from cherub 1 because he’s eaten an entire chocolate cake – in fact cherub 1 has announced she’s planning on binge eating all the stuff she likes for the whole week.

On the other hand I have to do all the vacuuming, nobody has quietly taken my dirty cup to the dishwasher and the sommelier service has gone right downhill. Cherub 1 is too easily distracted and a request for kitchen to living room wine delivery resulted in me finding her 10 minutes later doing something else.

Not one person has asked me a complicated question about things like the behaviour of protons and been outraged that I don’t know the answer. Nor has anyone told me 50 times a day how bored/hungry they are.

I haven’t nearly broken my neck tripping over trainers in the hall or come downstairs and knocked 50 precariously perched hoodies off the banister.

Oh Lordy I miss him! Sorry Mr V but all those times you were grumpy about the mess and I said I couldn’t wait until the inconsiderate little sods leave home…I didn’t mean it. I don’t want to be deconditioned. I like buying sausages and chocolate mousse. I can surely learn quantum physics. My day is not complete without a trainer related near death experience. There surely can be no buggering off or flying from nests. I’m struggling not to text him every 5 minutes to check he’s okay. How does anyone ever let their children leave home?!

Pic is of cherub 1 (in her unicorn onesie) snuggling with Biggles 😍

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